I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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