I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize