As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
