I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
