Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dont even know how to be here
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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