fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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