Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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