I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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