friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
