I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
