Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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