dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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