You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
