I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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