If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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