maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When are your genitals available?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
