She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We are two peas in an std pod
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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