Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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