mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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