I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
