It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
