what day is it and did you see me today?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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