people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
