6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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