Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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