He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
