In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
