it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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