I think my fart just growled at me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize