the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
