Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
