butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize