Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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