I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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