I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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