everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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