I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
