I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize