He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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