Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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