Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
