I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
that is very illegal...i love you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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