Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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