I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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