He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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