i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
