exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My bed smells like the plague
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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