She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
