U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
