And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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