Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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