great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
