chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
