Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
