I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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