I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
