Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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