Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
